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Friday, October 31, 2014

There were two ledges involved.. They were only separated by about 3 feet or so. But it was enough that you didn't have a great hold on either side as you crossed over. Close enough that if you are relaxed and you don't over think the gap, it really shouldn't be a problem, in most situations. But in this case, the gap happened to be roughly 75-100 feet above the ground. I'm not really sure of the exact height because I didn't want to look down long enough to figure it out. Either way, you're dead. This was far sketchier than anything I've done before in terms of height and it was messing with my head. I tried to just look at the ledge I was on and look at the ledge I needed to be on and make it happen. I reached out to it a couple of times as a warm up, trying to reassure myself that it's not that far. I decided to just do it, get it over with. I extended my leg to the other side, stretched further than it seemed like it should be. I let go of one hand on my ledge and began to grasp at the other ledge. But then I started thinking too much about my grip, about my footing and I nearly lost my shit. Quickly I pulled back to my ledge and gripped it tightly, testing my muscles and telling myself that there's nothing to be worried about. One hand and one foot on a solid ledge is enough. But it's that transfer when you let go of the one you know is solid and try to shift over to the new one.. fuck. Stop thinking about it and just do it. I regained my senses, forced the height out of my mind and got a firm footing. When I got to the other side I grabbed it for dear life and just waited a second to reassure myself that I made it. Then up and over and I was finally inside. But that wasn't the last of it. If you want to get to the top then you need to climb the ladder. The ladder was about 50 feet and although it was secured to the wall in spots, it was very wobbly. Looking back on it, I think ladders are a good teaching aid to get comfortable with heights because there's nothing to worry about as long as you trust yourself to grab the rungs in succession and not let go. But for someone with a slight issue with heights, it was still very unnerving.

At last we were on the top. The views were amazing and I definitely appreciated them while I was there. The night, the cool air and all the lights. But in the back of my mind I knew I was going to have to come back down eventually, back down the ladder and.. the gap. By this time, the ladder was a little easier for me. One foot in front of the other, don't look down. The gap, well it fucking sucked again. I don't think that was any easier the second time. Once we got back out to the sidewalk I bent over to pat it a few times, relieved to be back on solid ground.

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